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Who I Really Am

by A Secret Scenario

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1.
Dear tomorrow, please don't let me wake. It's dark and freezing, I don't think I can make it out today. I'm trapped under my covers, searching for a sign. Looking for a feeling, lost inside my mind. So help me out. I'm looking for just one way out. I'll sing it loud. I'll sing my way right out of town. This broken town. I'd rather leave and burn than stay and drown. Constant numbness, keeps me on the ground. Release the sandbags, foggy all around, hot air balloon. Rising to the treetops, my eyes are pointed down. Rising through the ether, and I can't make a sound. So help me out. I'm looking for just one way out. I'll sing it loud. I'll sing my way right out of town. This broken town. I'd rather leave and burn than stay and drown. So help me out. I'm looking for just one way out. I'll sing it loud. I'll sing my way right out of town. This broken town. I'd rather leave and burn than stay and drown. I'd rather leave and burn than stay and drown.
2.
< Nothing 02:58
I'm on the edge of "here" and "no one cares". I walk a line that is sharp and self-aware. I live a life that's for nothing, nothing but you. I feel nothing, nothing but you. I am the cracks on your spine and in your teeth. A micro fracture that is cold and hard to see. A metaphor that is broken, broken and cheap. I am broken, broken and cheap. When you're nothing like me, and you're broken like me. You can stand up and see, when you're nothing, you're clean. When you're nothing, you're free. Something's alive in my lungs, it's killing me. You twist the knife in my side, I start to bleed. All along you were counting, counting on me. Now I'm counting, counting to three. (One, two, three!) When you're nothing like me, and you're broken like me. You can stand up and see, when you're nothing, you're clean. When you're nothing, you're free. When you're nothing like me, and you're broken like me. You can stand up and see, when you're nothing, you're clean. When you're nothing, you're free. When you're nothing, you're free.
3.
Time of Day 02:54
Hey you, I'm over here. I'll let you know and make it clear I love you, you're all I need. I promise, I need you and you need me. Listen, and take my word, I know it sounds a bit absurd I love you, just remember. I promise, I'll love you forever. Take my hand, I'll make you mine. You're the girl, girl, girl that I had in mind. You're the one, one, one with a heart inside. When will you notice me? Give me your time of day, I'll tell you what it means to say "I love you", please look at me. I promise there's so much more to see. Tell me what's wrong with me, I'll be what you want me to be. I'll love you until we die. I swear that I am more than meets the eye. Take my hand, I'll make you mine. You're the girl, girl, girl that I had in mind. You're the one, one, one with a heart inside. When will you notice me?
4.
Insanity 03:29
Woah, well, I wanna make you feel alive in the worst way. I wanna open your eyes, make you hate me. I wanna open up that wound. I wanna show you dreams come true, But not for you. I wanna see your heart in hand. I wanna break that heart! Woah, insanity. There's an ocean in my mind, and it's storming. There's a lighthouse on the coast, but it's broken. I'm gonna man the sails alone. 'Cause I don't need you anymore, So buckle up. I want the wind to break you down. I wanna sink that ship! Waoh, insanity. Break her heart, sink her ship.
5.
Law of Sines 02:22
Do me a favor, let me in. It's 3 AM, I'm shivering. From on your porch, I hear his voice. From in your room, it's just a noise. I don't believe it. Why am I here when I know he's there with you? I'll just pretend never saw him under you. You're only real when you're holding me tight. These wounds will heal but I'll never be alright. I'm begging please, where did you go? I'm giving up, I'll never know. I wanted you, you wanted me. You said that you would never leave. Where are you now? Why am I here when I know he's there with you? I'll just pretend never saw him under you. You're only real when you're holding me tight. These wounds will heal but I'll never be alright. Why am I here when I know he's there with you? I'll just pretend never saw him under you. You're only real when you're holding me tight. These wounds will heal but I'll never be alright.
6.
She held my hand, I held my tongue. I couldn't help but worry and wonder, We're young and dumb. She's sleeping alone, you're getting high. Now I wonder, "why do I even try?" I'll write a letter from her to you. And if it makes you feel any better, She still loves you. I am a light that's razor sharp. And I'm drowning in the darkness of your heart. Hold tight with open arms, a rude and selfish portrait. I hope your veins run dry, choke on your lies and forget. Falling asleep with an aching mind. And I don't want to wake up to this mess, Leave me behind. You dug a grave, now crawl inside. 'Cause in the end, no one makes it out alive. Hold tight with open arms, a rude and selfish portrait. I hope your veins run dry, choke on your lies and forget. I'll write a letter from her to me. And it won't make me feel any better, But at least, I'll see.
7.
It's funny you'll still know the contours and shapes so well. Even if that person went and put you through hell. The only time I see you is at night in my dreams. I'm starting to think reality is not what I need. 'Cause when I see your face, I am happy again. And when I awake, I'm smiling, it's all just pretend. I can still remember the details of your hands, Even how they felt when you were rubbing up my back. I can still recall the shape of your teeth, Especially how they looked when you were smiling back at me. You're just a dream. You're just a dream. It's weird how things change, but come right in the end. Like every single dimple and that mark on your chin. But everything is gone because you took that away. These nights I lie asleep, dreaming of my happy place. 'Cause when I see your face, I am happy again. And when I awake, I'm smiling, it's all just pretend. I can still remember the details of your hands, Even how they felt when you were rubbing up my back. I can still recall the shape of your teeth, Especially how they looked when you were smiling back at me. You're just a dream. You're just a dream. You're just a dream.
8.
Chemotherapy 03:19
You're the one that taught me all about slitting wrists and Getting even with yourself. You're the one that showed me how a knife could be friendly No matter how I felt. Now I'm waking up, sick and tired of all these lies. I'll show you what it really means to cry. (Look in my fucking eyes!) Not some made up excuse, just to stab me in the back again. You always told me I was your best friend. You're like cancer. You're spreading through my veins as I drain, My blood of distrust. I'd rather fade away than live with you. Why are you you? Who are you? The games you play with my life in your hands. A badge of trust comes a knife in my back. The taste of blood with your name on my tongue. Your words that kill like the shot of a gun. You're the one that keeps me up all night thinking this will Never come to an end. You're the one that showed me how to leave, how to cheat and Lie and lose your best friend. Now I can not sleep, why can't you just go away? I told you that there's nothing left to say. (I'll make fucking pay!) Walk away, don't look back. Just remember when I'm dead and gone. I may be dead, but your time won't be long. You're like cancer. You're spreading through my veins as I drain, My blood of distrust. I'd rather fade away than live with you. Why are you you? Who are you? The games you play with my life in your hands. A badge of trust comes a knife in my back. The taste of blood with your name on my tongue. Your words that kill like the shot of a gun. (Shot of a gun.)
9.
Rip Current 03:02
She's swimming in my head. I'm drowning in her dreams. It's better left unsaid. And better left to me. I want to know how the ocean breaks me down. (The ocean breaks me down.) I'm just a let down, this girl has got me now. (This girl has got me now.) Another night alone picking flowers, flowers. Another night alone in your head, in your head. Another night alone picking flowers, flowers. Another night alone and I'm dead. There's burning in my chest. No sympathy is left. There's fire in the sky. And ashes are my life. I want to know how the ocean breaks me down. (The ocean breaks me down.) I'm just a let down, this girl has got me now. (This girl has got me now.) The ocean breaks me down. This girl has got me now. The ocean breaks me down. This girl has got me now. I want to know how the ocean breaks me down. (The ocean breaks me down.) I'm just a let down, this girl has got me now. (This girl has got me now.)
10.
If I crawled to you tonight, would you let me hold your hand? And if I made it through the night, would you let me be your man? I just want you to see who I really am. I felt your presence, your eyes were beaming. I felt your touch, but I was only dreaming. If I open up my eyes, will you look into my heart? And when the sun decides to die, could we never be apart? I just want us to be more than he could start. I felt your presence, your eyes were beaming. I felt your touch, but I was only dreaming. Looking down though a swirling thunderstorm. Searching for a light, your mind is torn, It's only dark, it breaks my heart when you're looking through me. She's looking through me. If I crawled to you tonight, would you let me hold your hand? And if I made it through the night, would you let me be your man? I just want you to see who I really am. Looking down though a swirling thunderstorm. Searching for a light, your mind is torn, It's only dark, it breaks my heart when you're looking through me. She's looking through me. I felt your presence, your eyes were beaming. I felt your touch, but I was only dreaming.
11.
Frostbite 02:45
Holding you is like holding onto ice. My hands are cold and numb, you're slipping away. Seeing you is like seeing in the dark. My eyes are open wide, I'm slipping away. We can try and make this last forever. We can live and grow up together. What went wrong 'cause I don't remember. Live or die happily ever after. Kissing you is like kissing us goodbye. My heart is broke and torn, we're slipping away. We can try and make this last forever. We can live and grow up together. What went wrong 'cause I don't remember. Live or die happily ever after. Holding you is like holding onto ice. My hands are cold and numb, you're slipping away. We can try and make this last forever. We can live and grow up together. What went wrong 'cause I don't remember. Live or die happily ever after. We can try and make this last forever. We can live and grow up together. What went wrong 'cause I don't remember. Live or die happily ever after.
12.
No Ending 02:57
Waking up in the desert is waking up all alone. Waking up with the ocean reflected in your eyes is boring. Waking up in a storybook with no ending is where I want to be. Moving up, moving out, moving on with my life, to my end. Look to the past, we knew our dreams could never last. Made out in the car, she changed her clothes in a bathroom stall. Reminds me of the prom, but it hurts if I think too long. She taught me how to dance, but she doesn't know who I am. I want a life that is something, I need a life that is more than this. I'll write a song with some words that don't mean anything to me, it's easy. I'll write a song with some metaphors to describe how lost and alone I'm not. It's like I care what you think, these words have no meaning, without you. Look to the past, we knew our dreams could never last. Made out in the car, she changed her clothes in a bathroom stall. Reminds me of the prom, but it hurts if I think too long. She taught me how to dance, but she doesn't know who I am. She doesn't know me, (she doesn't know me.) She doesn't know me, (she doesn't know me.) But it's what we need, (but it's what we need.) But it's what we need, (but it's what we need.) Look to the past, we knew our dreams could never last. Made out in the car, she changed her clothes in a bathroom stall. Reminds me of the prom, but it hurts if I think too long. She taught me how to dance, but she doesn't know who I am.

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released August 28, 2012

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A Secret Scenario Auburn, New York

A Secret Scenario was formed in 2010 over spring break by members Brandon Berry and Erik Lupien. The two began to write and record a series of 12 songs. Wanting to perform the music they had written live, Berry and Lupien recruited close friends James Fennessy and Jacob Smolak to play bass and drums respectively. The four continue to practice, write, and record new songs every day. ... more

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